I decided to read for myself today and to ask Spirit for a Birthday Message.
I don’t read for myself very often because the message is often the same. There is a certain type of love I have been trying to manifest into my life. I decided two years ago I would never “settle” for anything less than that kind of love again. I prayed about it and told God if He would show me a better way I would listen. I would be teachable.
The kind of love I want is very specific. It is a Top Shelf shelf sort of love and it doesn’t come cheap. It is a kind of love that requires me to heal what is broken in myself first so I don’t bring toxic behaviors into it. I have had to own bad behaviors I have brought into relationships. I saw them as ways of caring but they weren’t. They were co-dependent behaviors. They were behaviors that made me believe that I couldn’t be happy unless someone else found value in me among other things. That was bull crap. The only love I need to worry about is if I love myself.
I have been working on myself. I have been learning to love myself and have been putting effort into myself so I can attract the kind of love I want. Everything else will fall into place. The other day I was reading and I felt a huge shift in the way I saw the message. It shook me but it was so exciting. It has happened again and again since that moment and it is so beautiful. Today’s reading for myself was no different than any other time I read for myself. Without getting into all the details, it shows me my past love and my future love. It has told me for about 6 months now it is coming quickly towards me but that I will face tests first to be sure I don’t fall into old behaviors. Ok. Got it.
Today was no different. I sort of sighed at Spirit and said, “Yes I know. I know all of that and am working on myself everyday! I am being patient! I just wanted a birthday message for me. Please tell me why you are showing me this AGAIN!”
And then I shuffled again and these 3 cards fell. The Tower, Judgement, and the 3 of Cups. Together they mean, “Surprise! We are celebrating and acknowledging a recovery!” Happy Birthday to me!
P.S. That’s all Scorpio energy in those cards. Just saying. 😉